Thursday, April 28, 2011

Party Party

May 14th, Way Out Club on Jefferson.

A Catolick Celebration for Senor Rob's tirtyif bird day.

Dranks, surprises, legends.

be there!

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Boo Boo'n

Coming was called to my attention tonight when the subject was mentioned at a concert with friends. What I gained most from this was that there are so many different ways that a crilch can come. Some crays may come confetti onto butt holes while some criches' cum is full of tiny goldfish crackers. I'm sure that some people may think fucking is the only way to really come, they are wrong. However direct and efficient humpin to the top of ecstasy mountain may be, it is only one method of reaching orgasm. To fully reap the benefits of a futuristic orgasm, one must first recognize that coming is an immediate response to one of The Four Steps, but is not a step itself. The step that leads us into orgasm, is Step Four: Get Your Dick Sucked. This step is highly important in the cycle of The Four Steps. Because maintenance of The Four Steps is crucial in attaining the highest level of Futuristic being, we must complete Step Four with diligence and enjoyment, thus the cum. All this being said, a true dandy knows how to tap into his or her own mossy higher being and discover their fullest existential cum capabilities. Try rubbing grass clippings between a lovers toes or roll nude in a corn crib. Huffing duster and other substances may excite certain crilches, while lacker and carn whiskey may be just the trick for others. Whatever it is that provides the greatest output of relaxation and Four Step Being, do not be fearful to explore it. Rubber Rat enjoys margarita anal fumes while listening to the baseball game on a.m. radio. All Bug Derl needs is some turkey and quack tracks. Paula Crilch occasionally finds her o face at the thought of hairy freaks feeding one another lacker filled candies and smoking angel dust. Cinco Swag once put a pool ball into his own ball sac and ate an entire bag of flamin hot cheetos. Shit might seem odd at times or frightening, but always remember that no matter how you do it, coming helps you reach another dimension.

- Paula Crilch.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

SHOW COMING UP!/event.php?eid=206217219396332¬if_t=event_photo_change

Wednesday, April 13, 2011


It has come to my attention that King Kong Magnetics were featured on not one, but two, of the last two "Saint Louis Shuffle" DJ sets by Matt Harnish...every other Monday night at everyone's favorite shut-it-down-late-but-don't-dare-go-home-alone nightspot, Mangia Italiano.  Playlists from 03/21 and 04/04 in 2011 featured the KKM Klassic "Ass Ass Ass Face Face Face."  See y'all at Mangia on Monday nights for the Saint Louis Shuffle.  Or not, who cares?


Swag so cold

But I ain't

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

OMG I love @yourbitch

First off, baby you don't know what your pussy do

Sexond off, I love your bitch. I fuck yo bitch. I take your bitch out to fine dining, pay for the whole affair, then have an affair with your whole thang. Breakin it off like damn. Hottest bipod sexin. + walkin goddamn. Bitch followin KKM on twitter like you already didn't think the pussy was Legend @kkmstl showin hella love to a dick. Bought steak and lobsters like she ain't even eat meat, just to be like damn bitch, I already know you eatin meat. Bitch ate meat ya feel? Damn lobster was fine, pussy was fine, steak was aight. Wine and dine all day, Step 4 all life, dick all pussy, white bone, red bone, all pussy gettin boned. Had a big bowl of rolls like I was payin for the shit haha.
I paid extra for the shit real talk.
Nibbled on ya girl's ear while she was nibblin' on a roll. Damn, hope you weren't at the same restaurant as yo bitch was, cuz I was right there, and you were not right there. Damn Damn. Bitch laughin at all my jokes, and she ain't even laugh at you (oh, she laughs at you though ya know). Damn I'm so charming. Bitch said I was so sex that she ain't even wait for the sex before I gave her the sex.
Damn, that's not even storylookin, ya can't even hear me right now like ya girl can.
And I'm not even tryin to pull like that. It's just physics man. I'm just too physical with your girl ya know. Too damn swagged out to not get the pull. So much pull on my dick, even God's sayin damn.
Look at me whisperin to your girl. Don't hate. Appreciate that I may be savin your ass. Cuz I know that girl's savin a little of me in her ass. Take a note in your phone. Txt yourself. Cuz ya girl ain't txtin you. Does she pull her hair back like that for you? God damn sippin wine like that? She's like some kinda super human. You know what I mean. Maybe you don't. You probably don't. Don't blame me guy, I'm just a rapper. You know what rappers do. Does she wear just her necklace around the house for you, or is it just my house? Or wait, I've seen her in your house too right. Or is that my new house too? I just never see you there so a man's gonna make assumptions. Hot damn pussy. Pussy.


-Pimp Kane

Sunday, April 10, 2011


don't yall forget to follow our dumb asses on twitter, we been blowin that shit up and sayin all kinds of fannies and roflz. important updates, shoutouts to mayors and deities, russel crowe, different types of swag, oprah, fred durst, drug references, positivity, negativity, more drug references, sex references, reference sections, pound signs, at signs, twitter, john legend, we like breathe, .com, inside jokes, outside time, next to myself, inner beauty is bullshit, fat asses and check cashes, my dick, other peoples crispies, junk, jack, jank, boo boo jank jank, bow snap,  legend legend legend, doggies, KATZ, rhonda sikez, barry bird, montel jordan (#23), way more crisp crilch swag than steve harvey could smile his shitty mouth into. swag hard, be more rofl than ever. we will always be better than everybody that ever has or will existed to be again futuristically. i breathe.

@KKMSTL    on twitter. follow, my little sheepiez

-Luc st. louis (cinco swag)

-King Kong Magnetics

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Partying Big

I just partied from 1PM 'til 10PM outside in the park.  Who dares party as hard as me?  I will party as hard as any of y'all and then some.  I dare you to party with me.  Let's party.  Partying is so crispy.  It's the bread and butter on which I live now that I have transcended a need for monetary supplement.  Party with me.  You'll never be the same.  We are gonna party on May the 14th and none of y'all will ever be the same.  Just you wait.  Party-time.


Sleepin On the Ground

I just want to remind all ya'll that you can find inspiration everywhere.

The world is full of beauty and pain and craziness and stories that you can steal and turn into your own. Good rhymes can come from anywhere and number one hit songs can be found on any old day when some crilch is asking you about sex with a woman at a stop light. Get inspired by your friends and heshers. Get inspired by hispanic men buttoning just the top button of their flannel shirts and dogs fighting in the park. By water clouds, crying cats, couple fucking in cars in the middle of the day, cum trees, pussy trees, sandwiches, beers, odd looking squirrels, old guys like Devin the dude who are still rapping. ANYTHING! You just have to see the potential.

Please also remember that King Kong Magnetics will always do it better.

Sweet tasting bitches with sour puss,
-Paula Crilch

NEW SONGS! 5 dropped yesterday!



brand new fresh banger material

cray cray