Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Snowball Swag

Winter feelings is almost gone (shit, it was supposed to snow last night but the weather was like fuck it) so you know that spring is next up which means girls lookin fly as fuck and more rap songs and trees smellin like pussy (and pussy smellin like trees). But damn, we still got so much snow in our swag, which we have to credit to all our supporters and haters, the people who came out to our shows, the people who bought Futuristic Money Makers (some copies are still available at Pancake Productions, CD Baby, Vintage Vinyl, and Euclid Records),  the people who are checking out YouTube videos we're posting up (about 20 in the last few days bitches), the people who are following us on Twitter, the people checking out our Facebook page, the people who still get on Myspace to check out our music, people making music, people buying music, people stealing music, people trying to stop people stealing music, the PRESENT, the FUTURE, some of the people who are from the past (but not the ones lookin' at the past and staying in the past), the people using TEKNOLOGY, the people from Thailand, the bitches suckin dick, the Four Steppers, the 11th and 12th Dimensions (respectively), higher planes of consciousness, higher plains of unconsciousness, REAL TALKERS, the girls lookin fine as hell, the graf artists, the treaty makers, the weirdos that's pushing boundaries and norms forward toward the FUTURE, the Hadron Particle Accelerator, Sam Cassell (pictured above, stompin on hella boobs), Cinco Swag, pictures of cats, the people on the Internet supporting our music, the Pancake Houses and Master, 24 hour joints, 24 hour breakfast buffets, 3 o clock bars, Klaus Kinski, all the rock music and soul music and doo-wop music and ragtime music for pavin the way and lookin toward the future with an open mind's eye, new neighbors that ain't dicks, tricycle makers (not a dead art), fisher women, new used cars, new new cars, bitches makin popcorn, Kool Keith, Pam Grier, the real estate market (domestic and abroad), Old Vienna Red Hot Riplets, Mars Bars INC, Hershey's INC, all the candy manufacturers in Sweden and abroad, Carmello Anthony, Lil B, OFWGKTA, bitches wearin glasses, all the carpenters, Based janitors, the zoint rollers, the zoint smokers, the PIONEERS, all the teachers and rappers, kids who volunteer for positive reasons and keep negativity away from the kids they go to school with, Earl Boykins, free zoos, people on the grind, 45 King, the family of those who need thankin, Robert Mitchum, the BBQers in Memphis, the whole West Coast (even Washington State), women athletes, that girl from the supermarket I saw once, and the Super Infinite.

If you have been mentioned above, THANK YOU. You keep the swag alive. We do this for you. Let's get this candy. Keep Sex alive, stay LEGEND. 4 Steps.

-Pimp Kane


I want to give a shout out to technology. We are manipulating the internet daily.
Record a song. Edit a song. YouTube a song.

Listen to Jefferson Airplane. Crilch hard.

Pimp Kane is gonna be taking the reins on our Twitter. So follow us @KKMSTL

 Or on facebook     king kong doodoo dummies 
The internet is infinite. Take advantage.
Keep it candy painted
- Paula Crilch 

Monday, March 28, 2011


Get drunken. Get crilch. If you are sick at home, mix up some emergen-c and vodka. An ole timey rappers remedy. It works like a dream so you can rap better than dreamin. Unless your dream is about humping on a candy painted ho's candy crotch. Then just keep fever dreaming and rap about it when you wake up.

- Paula Crilch

Saturday, March 26, 2011

NEW SONGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




here's one of our many new hit songs


Thursday, March 24, 2011

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

A State Of Utter Confusion

What in the heck?



What is all this anyway?

It's the Pancake Master, stuck inside the future-web

The King Kong Magnetics web-u-site
On the Future-world-wide-web-u-net

I'm lost, help me

Then, let's rap

And party

Save me!

Are we rapping yet?



Sunday, March 13, 2011

No Half Steppin/No Back Steppin

Futuristic Legend, holy damn, Futuristic.
Let's get this money.
Oh my God

Friday, March 11, 2011

Nonprofit Charity, Check Out These Candies

Straight up, ya boy got an iPad 2 today straight first day the shits dropped. Opened the shit up and gave the shit to a main bitch. Who says we ain't clean?

Candy painted iPad, candy painted apples, candy painted everything. Watch out for a candy painted mixtape. Candy painted brain. Oh my candy painted God.

O damn girl

-Pimp Kane

Thursday, March 10, 2011

All Hail The Pancake Master

There have been more than a couple recording sessions this week. As some may know, King Kong Magnetics is constantly recording. We have billions of songs. We do this for you, our people, so that you can have the opportunity to reach a more futuristic level of existence through our music.

It is rumored that the all mighty Pancake Master may have recorded a few tracks. The Pancake Master, for those of you who do not know, put out the first album, Futuristic Money Makers. He is a legend and a pimp and loves music more than anyone we have ever met. Some might say he loves music more than pussy. Although here in King Kong's world, we don't judge based on what gets people off.

Our legendary producers Krymnal and White Boy have been working hard creating beats, recording, and mixing the tracks. We have put tracks up on various sites to be downloaded and listened to for free, so keep and ear open, and we'll keep makin magic.

Keep your eye on the prize, and never forget the dijon.

Monday, March 7, 2011


In addition to Four Stepping, KKM has been busy doing shows (if  you didn't see us at Upstairs, you missed an opportunity to make a whole bunch of fucking money - the bartender was fucking sweeping money up off the floor and throwing it away because there was too much left over at the end of the night), making videos, and recording new ass songs.

And you're probably left wondering how we can pack some much action into a day? Goddamnit. Goddamnit. Fucking Goddamnit.

I'll tell you how I do it, because otherwise you motherfuckers would be wandering around too much in your wondering. Get your head straight legend. First, people gotta eat and shit cuz we're animals and shit. We need to put food (and drank) in our bodies so we can fuck bitches and give y'alls some rap songs. Shit. We also need to shit out a bunch of shit that our body doesn't even need (like water from drank - that's why your blood is so clear, you don't know this?).

These things take time!

Time out of a day that is already packed with so much fucking shit and how the fuck am I gonna be legend when I gotta do all this shit I can't not do ya feel?

Ok, so I gotta say, sometimes you have to multitask. Which can be hard as fuck! You gotta get into slow like. Don't put like a thousand bitches on your dick at first, just start out with like three or four. Like that.  For instance, I've started eatin while I'm shittin (and drankin while I'm shittin and eatin too). And you know hoes is gonna be askin what you're doin in there cuz they want the dick right? And they can pester your shit and get on some goddamn nerves until ya just gotta be all, "Bitch, I'm doin some work in here! Goddamnit, Goddamnit!" She can't see you're saving time behind that door so you can be fuckin and getting so damn high later because shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.

So open up the goddamn door.

Open Door Policy Bitches.

Sometimes a legend's gotta eat while he's shittin, and get his dick licked while he shits (crazy bitches fiendin for a dick).

And I know y'all feelin that Daylight Savings bullshit coming up and you're wondering how you're going to get all that shit done with an hour less in your day. Shit, you can't skip a Step in The Cycle. You know that shit. Don't even come around here trying to think you can pull some bullshit like that. Look at you motherfucker. Don't gimme that shit. Suck that shit up. Get high while you shit while you eatin while you getting yo dick licked if you have to (but still Get Yo Dick Sucked after you Take a Nap and before you Wake Up, shit, but I know hoes like you know hoes).

Once I had to put a bitch in another bitch, just so I could fuck both bitches at the same time. The things a pimp's gotta do...

-Pimp Kane

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Wake up, get high, take a nap, get your dick sucked.

Welcome to King Kong Magnetics' blog.

Don't get too wet all at once.

There will always be more to come. Keep checkin in.